Leaving an abusive relationship takes extraordinary courage—and even then, it is rarely straightforward. For many mothers, the path to safety is filled with emotional, financial, and systemic challenges. At YWCA Metro St. Louis, we see this reality every day and work tirelessly to help mothers navigate those barriers, restoring stability, safety, and self-worth.
Domestic violence thrives on control. Abusers often weaponize finances, withholding paychecks, sabotaging employment, or damaging credit to keep survivors dependent. Financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases, creating one of the most powerful barriers to leaving.[1] Without savings or access to income, many mothers face the impossible choice of enduring abuse or facing homelessness.
Legal and custody concerns add another layer. Survivors often fear that leaving could cause them to lose access to their children, or that their abusers will manipulate custody systems to maintain control. Emotional and psychological abuse deepens this fear, as abusers use intimidation, isolation, guilt, and shame to convince survivors they are incapable of surviving on their own. Over time, this erodes confidence and self-worth, making it even harder to reach out for help or envision a life beyond the abuse.
The presence of children can make the decision to leave even more complex. Nearly 1 in 4 women in the United States experience severe intimate partner violence during their lifetimes, and for many mothers, safety planning must include protecting and providing for their children.[2] The fear of instability—of not knowing where their children will sleep, how they will afford childcare, or whether they will be believed—often keeps survivors tied to their abusers longer than they wish.
Certain groups of women face even more profound challenges. Black, immigrant, and mothers who earn low wages often experience discrimination or lack equal access to support systems and legal protection. Survivors in marginalized communities frequently encounter longer wait times for housing, limited culturally responsive services, and systemic barriers to economic stability.[3] These inequities make it harder for women of color and immigrant mothers to secure safety, even after they have left.
As Samantha Wayant, Senior Director of Women’s Services, expresses, “Leaving an abusive relationship requires immense courage. No one should have to face it alone. Every survivor deserves safety, respect, and compassion. At YWCA Metro St. Louis, we’re not just helping women escape danger—we’re walking with them toward independence, stability, and healing.”
YWCA Metro St. Louis provides a continuum of care—from 24/7 crisis response and advocacy to counseling, case management, and financial empowerment—ensuring survivors have comprehensive support every step of the way. Our programs help mothers rebuild not only their safety but also their confidence, economic independence, and self-determination.
Ending domestic violence takes a community united in action. Every person can help make a difference—by sharing YWCA’s 24/7 Help Line (314-531-7273), donating to support programs that empower survivors, or advocating for stronger financial protections, affordable housing, and survivor-centered legal reform. No one should choose between safety and survival. Together, we can remove the barriers that keep survivors in harm’s way and ensure that every mother—and every family—has the freedom to live, heal, and thrive in peace.
[1] Financial Abuse Fact Sheet. National Network to End Domestic Violence. 2025.
[2] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Intimate Partner Violence Overview. 2023.
[3] Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (MCADSV). 2024 Annual Report. 2025.
ABOUT YWCA:
YWCA Metro St. Louis is the region’s leading advocate for the safety, security and stability of women and children, serving nearly 10,000 women and families annually. The mission of YWCA is eliminating racism and empowering women. YWCA offers crisis services and rapid re-housing for victims of sexual and domestic violence; services for pregnant women, Head Start and Early Head Start early childhood education; career readiness and economic empowerment services for all clients; and racial justice educational programs.